論文提出者の声 – Alexander Navarro

行動系／修士

To everyone thinking about writing a master’s thesis

I’ve always thought of myself as someone who is relatively capable of taking on any academic endeavor. Of course, I’ve had my fair share of content that simply just did not come easily to me. However, no matter how dark a tunnel was going in, I was always eventually able to come out the other end.

My master’s research was a different story. For me, it was a massive project that genuinely intimidated me. What I pinpointed as different from any academic challenge I’ve undertaken before is that a master’s thesis demands self-direction. Previously, I had always been clearly instructed on what to study and what to read. Every task I had was laid out before me; my duty was simply to complete them. For the first time in my life, however, I was looking out across an overwhelmingly vast ocean of research, with completely free reign to explore its waters (and absolutely no idea where to start). What’s more, I was being asked to somehow find my place in its depths and make a meaningful contribution to it.

From the very beginning, I had many moments of self-doubt where I asked myself: “Is my research theme solid enough?” “Am I misinterpreting this person’s work?” “Am I the only one in this room who doesn’t know what an eigenvalue is?” These kinds of questions came up constantly throughout these two years, but the one that bothered me the most was “Do I belong here?” I tried everything I could to convince myself that I did, quadruple-checking my work and reading as much as I could. I even made an academic Twitter to stay in the loop with my field, but seeing the intellectual conversations being had on there made me feel even more like an imposter.

Interestingly, this impostor syndrome didn’t dissipate with time. It was there until the very end, and it wasn’t until that final hour when I was reading through my final draft that I had actually begun to recognize my efforts for what they were. Having two years of work neatly compiled into a final paper helped me realize that I had actually learned so much about theory, my field, and methods in research. On top of that, I felt a great sense of accomplishment and the sense that I had grown as both a researcher and a person. Most importantly, I realized that I contributed, if even just a drop, to the vast ocean of research that initially terrified me. Of course, this achievement is backdropped by the support of my teachers and colleagues, who’ve always shown me immense kindness and provided invaluable guidance.

What I want anyone on the fence about graduate school is: it will be difficult. If you’re like me, you might not know it until the end, but if you persevere, make use of the resources around you, and step a bit out of your comfort zone, you will be pleasantly surprised at how your efforts will reward you.